Niche: Young Adults and Their Parents

Find out more about Tiffany HERE!

Find this Interview on YouTube, HERE.

 

As parents it’s natural to want our children to choose certain things or make particular choices so that they can have a certain outcome. But all too often we really want them to do that so we can appear a certain way as a parent and we can feel like we were successful in our parenting role. 

Releasing our children of certain expectations doesn’t stop once they leave our home or reach the age of adulthood. Coach Tiffany Rhoton doesn’t feel like expectations are bad but they can be damaging to the parent child relationship if we base our relationship and love on those expectations being met. We want our kids to buy into their choices because they want to or not do something, not because they feel they have to be a certain way to make us feel better or gain our love and acceptance. Tiffany cannot stress enough the importance of basing your success as a parent on what you can control and then allowing your young adult children to make their own decisions. Hard to do, but so important for your children’s development and your relationship with them.

 

Takeaways:

*Many times our motivations as parents for wanting their children to succeed and make certain choices is so they can feel good about themselves and the way that they parent.

*Parenting adult children is so fun when we let go of the expectation for them to be a certain way.

*Make sure you are honest with yourself as a parent for the motivation behind why you want your kids to be or not be the way they are.

*Most young adults want to please their parents and be accepted by them. 

*We can have expectations for our children but we can’t link our love for them to fulfilling those expectations.

*Having certain expectations for our children can be exhausting. 

*I’m a good mom because I show up and I keep trying.

*You need to be aware of the feelings that are driving your parenting. If it’s graspy panic, it’s not going to go well. 

*When you see a great quality in a child, build on that quality, not the outcome.

*The way you can build confidence in your parenting is to focus on what you can control. The thing you can control is how you decide to show up as a parent. What your children take from that is up to them and has nothing to do with how good of a parent you are.

*Once our children leave the home our role in their lives changes. We become more of a support instead of the person who makes all their decisions for them. 

 

Discussion Questions:

  1. How do you gauge whether or not you are a successful parent?
  2. If you have young adults and you feel like the relationship is not where you want it to be, where could giving up control or basing your self worth on their decisions actually gain you a better relationship?
  3. What are some of the fears you have in letting go of your children making or not making certain decisions?