Niche: Helping parents learn how to parent their adult children.

Find Bonnie HERE!

When your children make choices that are contrary to what you taught them, the natural tendency is to get angry but often it is in those moments that they need us the most. 

Coach Bonnie Lyman is on a mission to help every parent who struggles in their relationships with their adult children. Bonnie so wisely stated, “[As an adult parent] you really have one assignment. It’s just to love them.” The question is, how exactly do you love them in the ways they need? Bonnie shares the beliefs you need so that your relationship with them can grow – even though it’s different than how it was when they were little. Essentially, you have to be willing to quit your job to younger children and take on the new job of parenting adult children. It’s not easy, but it can be done and love can always be present as you drop the expectations and release your children of being the keepers of your happiness. 

 

Takeaways:

*It’s one thing to think a thought but you have to take it a step further and believe what you are thinking in order for it to stick. 

*With adult children your job is to love them.

*When you believe you did the best you could raising your kids, when you will be able to show up and love them when they make choices as adults that you don’t agree with. 

*Adult children don’t want to be smothered by your love. They want to feel safe.

*There is no “right” way to have a relationship with your adult children. When you let the story go of how it “should” be you will have a better relationship with them.

*Once your kids leave home, a mother needs to make sure that her children are not responsible for fulfilling her needs and desires for happiness.

*When your children make choices that are contrary to what you taught them, the natural tendency is to get angry, but often it is in those moments that they need you the most. 

*Adult children want to figure things out on their own.

*You should never give adult children advice unless they ask for it.

*You want to work yourself out of a job as a mother. When your children leave the home you need to quit the job of being the mother you were to them while they lived in your home and start a new job of being a parent to them as an adult child.

 

Discussion Questions:

  1. What has been your biggest struggle in transitioning to being a parent of older children?
  2. What things do you want to change about your thoughts that you know will help you to have a better relationship with your adult children?
  3. What are you afraid of losing if you start treating your adult children as exactly that – adults?